Etiquette

Etiquette

The French invented the word, and many of the customs behind it. Even today, perhaps the worst insult you can deliver to a Frenchman is “mal élevé“ – ill-mannered.

The codes are simple and sensible. Among them:

• Universal: Say hello and goodbye to everybody, male, female, old or young.
• A daytime hello is bonjour, an evening one is bonsoir – or if it’s bedtime, bonne nuit. Ask any French person how to pronounce these, though people will appreciate even your rough attempts.
• Stores and taxis: use the above words religiously when entering and leaving stores, taxis and homes. They are expected.
• Answer invitations quickly and politely.
• To address someone, other than a child, use the “vous” form instead of the more familiar “tu”  for the word “you”.
• Reciprocate hospitality as soon as reasonable.
• Arrive on time or, preferably, a few minutes late for a meal. Never before the intended time.
• Dress suitably for each occasion – ask your host if it’s at his or her house.
• Participate actively in conversations without dominating them.
• Don’t bother people with intrusive noise, such a talking loudly on your cellphone in pubic places.
• Eat silently and without messing up the table. But converse softly with your neighbors if it’s a dinner-party, enquiring about their interests.
• In a restaurant, do not address your neighbors, unless you need to ask politely for the salt. Politely means s’il vous plaît (Please).
• Anywhere, especially in public transport: Offer your place to anyone who may need it more than you do.
• After a meal at someone’s home : phone the next day to thank them, mentioning the pleasure you had. If it was a special occasion for you, you might send flowers next day to the hostess.
• Beware using slang or vulgar phrases – if in doubt, leave them out!